Clarissa's Journal

In a hot summer day~~
Coincidentally, I found a scene of this dorama in Instagram, which shown Kento Yamazaki’s face. With no further consideration, I search the title, and watched this dorama in 2 days only.

 

For your information, this series is a remake of Korean Drama with same title (Good Doctor) which aired in 2013. It has 20 episode in Korean version, and 10 episode in Japanese version.

A few days ago, an English speaker guy called to my office.
The recepcionist couldn't speak English. And I was standing near them, so i pick the phone and start talking. In English, of course.

It's hillarious.
To heard someone could feel jealous
of the rain, wind, ground, or even the oxygen that can't be seen.


Yes, that was hillarious.
'till i feel some pain in my chest,
really tight, blocking my breathe

when i see your smile in miles
when i heard your laughter by space between
without my presence.


Just if i'm the cause of your smile.

Don't ever change yourself
just because you want to get some attention from peoples around.

You could lose yourself when doing that.
Just be you. No matter what.
It's the most important thing in life. Attention is useless.

I tried my best to keep posting everyday, but it's not easy....
.

I got tooth ache in this few days, and it's really bother me. I can't eat properly, my appetite going worse day by day. Even my favorite food can't help me.
Fortunately, i have medicine to reduce the pain. And i feel really happy today.

First, i'm happy because of what happened last night.

Such a tiring day.

Saturday, it supposed to be a free day.
Oh, actually not. There is an (just call it) event on my office. I should go to work (actually).
But my neighbor already booked me from around 2 weeks ago.
They want me to be (kinda) receptionist on their daughter's wedding. This is the reason why on previous day i said i'm anxious.

Nothing 'big' happened today.
It's just a normal day.

I decided to take 1 from 4 absent allowance (do you understand what i mean? Idk the English word for this 😁). My mom need to get few things done by this afternoon, and i'm the only who can drive for her, and accompany her. Plus, there is another needs for our stall, and for our neighbor's wedding that will be held tomorrow.

I made a big mistake today.


One of famous band in Indonesia held a concert in Surabaya. (This band not producing pop songs, but they more like Christian band). The concert named 'Unlimited Blessings', praise and worship night.
There are some miss comunication while i booked the ticket.

In short, they asked me to paid the ticket soon, and i'm a person who easily panicked.
So this morning, before i go to work i take a little time for visiting ATM in a minimarket. I've tried to transfer the money, but the machine said my pin was wrong.
I tried for three times, and just do foolishness. The card was blocked.
My panick become overwhelmed. I can't drive well, can't think clear, such a chaotic morning. This thing really distract my mind. Because it's not my card, but my father's, unfortunately my Father haven't being home yet.

It's getting worse than yesterday.
My flu.

I thought i had enough rest. On last Sunday, i spent my half day for sleeping.
Swallowed some medicine, and slept.

But i still have a cold and cough with phlegm.
I didn't took any medicine since Sunday. Just some mild medicine for my cough, plus i didn't drink it regularly. Just when i want to, i take it. Maybe that's why it's getting worse today.

I can't breath freely, i have a runny nose.
There are so much snot in my nose. Yeah, this is disgusting, and really irritating me.
That's why i decide to buy medicine, and eat another medicine when i'm home.

But i feel like i'm healthy.  I didn't have headache, didn't get cold, didn't feel weak. Even the medicine couldn't make me sleepy when the box said it's the effect.

I can't breath freely and this is really really really iriritate me so so so very much.
I hope i still could go to work tomorrow. I don't wanna miss a single day.

There is a foreign people come to my office. He couldn't speak neither Bahasa Indonesia nor English. He just know a few of Bahasa, and it's still mixed with Mandarin. He want to do counseling with senior pastor here, but there is no one who know what is he talking about, because the language.

We trapped in confusion, and several people walking around and shouting 'Who could speak Mandarin? We need a translator!'
I remember, there is a granma who could speak Mandarin well, but unfortunately she is not here. So there is no one who could translate for him. So sad about this.

If just, i already mastered Mandarin, i would be your translator, Sir.


It's not the first time i'm trapped in such conditions. Is this a sign, or what?
....
...
...

Perhaps, all you need
were merely....


a shoulder to lean on
when you feels so tired
with the world and these shits

Feels like a fool
After letting some tears flow
For who won't know
and leaving now

Just like a little fish that suddenly trapped.
She didn't know where to go
What to do, who to ask, and who to discuss with.

Then she tried to swim,
finding way by herself.
Tried to discovering a new place.

A place called home.

Around 3-4 days before Christmas, my university already entering a holiday time.
It's a very long holiday. The next semester will started at last of February.
We got around 2 months holiday.
And when heard that i just like, 'Uh, what a long holiday! It's such a waste of time. I don't know what i am gonna do spending those days.'

On first week, i attend to spend time with useful activity.

First draft was written while i'm riding motorbike.
For self notes.

I was following christian ministry on campus this morning.

The speaker shared a good topic that really hit me today.
Even i was not too attracted with that at first, but in the end, i got many messages.

Don't think about ourself too much. It's not good.

This is the very first time i writing in English.
Actually it's a tasks from my teacher after i finished OJT (On Job Training) or maybe it's well known as 'Prakerin/Magang' in Indonesian.
But i just want to post it here, so i can re-read it on future.

This is the original text. Without editing.